Sunday, October 21, 2012

Looking Out and Looking In Chapters 7+8

The title of chapter 7 is Listening: More Than Meets The Ear.  This chapter emphasizes the importance of listening rather than speaking all the time.  The communication process involves both listening and speaking, but it is made clear in this chapter that listening is usually better than speaking.  It also describes the difference between good and poor listening habits, and how to improve our listening skills.  One of the most important topics that this chapter describes however, is the difference between listening and hearing.  Sometimes we tend to use the two terms interchangeably, when in reality they are very different.



My dad used to use the phrase "In one ear and out the other" do describe how I heard things that he said.  In reality, I heard what he was saying, that is my ears picked up the specific sounds that my dad was trying to get me to understand, but my mind was elsewhere.  I wasn't thinking carefully about what he was talking about, and as it turns out I didn't remember a single thing he said.  This kind of thing happened a lot to me when I was younger and it helped me to recognize and affirm this concept when I read about it in the chapter.

The title of chapter 8 is Communication and Relational Dynamics.  One of the main things this chapter talks about is the things that people look for in another person when they are trying to form relationships.  Some of the things that they list in the chapter are: Appearance, Similarity, Complementarity, Reciprocal Attraction, Competence, Disclosure, Proximity, and Rewards.



Appearance is definitely one of the main things that people look for when they want to form a relationship with someone because it is typically the first thing that you notice about someone, and attracts you to them.  From there, similarities in hobbies, likes and dislikes etc can lead to events and activities that you can spend time with that person.  Personally these two things are the things that I look for most in someone.  If we have things in common, she has a good physical appearance, and we get along well, it can be a sign of a very close relationship building.

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