Changing Lanes (2002) Movie Review

Changing Lanes (2002) Rated "R" with Ben Affleck and Samuel L. Jackson

 All is well in New York City.  Gaven Banek is working for his father-in-law in what has turned out to be a multi-billion dollar charity that is on the brink of fraud.  Doyle Gipson is an alcoholic father of two, and on the verge of a messy divorce and separation from his kids.  A hectic highway lane change is cause for a somewhat minor collision.  Doyle wants to do things "the right way" by getting/giving insurance information, but Gaven is in too much of a hurry and writes Doyle a blank check for his situation, leaving him stranded on the highway.  Gaven arrives a few minutes late at court only to realize that he left his most important file with Doyle whom he had just abandoned.  Doyle makes sure it won't be easy for Gaven to recover the file quickly.  A long succession of sabotage between the two takes place that threatens to completely destroy the entire livelihood of both men.

The main relationship described in this film is the relationship between Gaven Banek and Doyle Gipson.  They were not even supposed to meet each other until they were involved in an accident on the highway.  The relationship starts out as friendly, quickly turns hostile, and towards the end gradually becomes friendly again. 

A second relationship is the relationship between Gaven Banek and his wife, and father-in-law who happens to be his boss.  While Gaven is a lawyer and married into this firm, he was aware of the possibilities of fraud.  His conscience begins talking to him halfway through the movie, but his wife and boss urge him not to listen to it.  Their relationship is very shaky at best towards the end of the movie.  A final main relationship is the relationship between Doyle Gipson and his wife and kids.  Gipson, an alcoholic, is constantly aware that his actions are hurting his relationship with his family, but he cannot seem to stop.  In a last ditch effort to save his marriage and the kids from having to move across the country, he tries to buy a house and make nice to his wife.  Gipson's genuine care is mistaken for alcoholic rage however, because Gaven is busy trying to destroy his life.  In the end, Gipson repairs his relationship with his family and all is well again.

The relationships in this film typically move in opposite directions compared to others.  When Gaven and Doyle's relationship comes apart, so do their relationships with their respective families and coworkers.  When they eventually come back together to be friends again, Gaven's relationship with his wife and boss sours as he becomes more of a moral person.  For the main part of the film, Doyle's relationship with his family is in the coming apart stage, and then it appears as though it starts over at the coming together stage to become a better family with time.  It was easy to see the different stages listed in the diagram here, with the relationships in the film.

It was also evident that most of the communication patterns were directly related to how the relationships were formed and maintained.  As communication effectiveness decreased, so did their relationship.  Miscommunications and misinterpretations often sour relationships at a fast rate as evident in the film.  Therefore, with improved communication between everyone involved in the movie, the relationships would have been improved much more than how they ended up.

Meta-communication is very helpful in repairing relationships and seeing "where they are" and "where they are going."  Doyle and Gaven finally, towards the end of the film, start talking about their communication and the actions that they have been doing to each other (mostly negative).  This was the turning point in their relationship and their moral turn-arounds.

I can relate most to Doyle Gipson in the film and the way he handled every situation that came his way.  The reason I say that is because I tend to always want to do things the right way, but I can become frustrated with things that have nothing to do with what I'm trying to do, become easily distracted, depressed, and angry at myself and other people for no reason at all.  It usually takes a figurative "slap in the face" to get myself to pull it together, buckle down, and realize that I need to do better in handling a certain situation.

Looking Out and Looking In Chapter 11

Chapter 11's title is Managing Interpersonal Conflicts.  Many people are often sucked into the idea that all conflict is negative and no good can come out of a conflicting situation.  While the term conflict is typically used in a negative tone, conflict actually can be used as a springboard to help solve potential future confrontations without even seeing their effects.  The book lists a few different ways that a communicator in a situation can respond to a conflict: avoiding, accommodating, competing, compromising, or collaborating.  It states that most of these different methods of responding have a necessary time, and not one method will always be the most beneficial, although some may be more helpful than others in many situations. 

From the textbook: "The way a conflict is handled is not always the choice of a single person, because the parties influence each other as they develop a relational conflict style.  This style may be complementary, symmetrical, or parallel; it can involve a combination of intimate and aggressive elements; and it can involve constructive or destructive rituals."

I heard someone speak about managing conflict in a work place or with customers and it was interesting to hear what they talked about for the most part.  They stressed heavily that not all conflict was negative or a bad thing, and many times, conflict can turn out to be a good thing.  One of the things she said that caught my attention was that if there is no conflict, then there are essentially no new ideas.  However, when there IS conflict, it can show that different people are approaching a certain situation differently.  This difference of approach can benefit a company or organization as it tries to represent and appeal to multiple points of view.  If the company never has any opposition to some of the normal operating procedures and the "way we've always done it", it can create a situation where they are stuck in their ways and have no new fresh input from a fresh perspective.  For example, an older manager in a position could benefit from a "conflict" with a younger manager, whose style might more reflect the interests of the market that the organization is trying to serve.  I really enjoyed this chapter in seeing how resolving conflict in a positive manner, with a win-win scenario for all parties can greatly assist in creating a better atmosphere for all who are involved.

Looking Out and Looking In Chapters 9+10

Chapter 9's title is Intimacy and Distance in Relational Communication.  The book lists four different dimensions of intimacy in interpersonal relationships: physical, intellectual, emotional, and shared activities.  Even though you might have a relationship with someone, that does not necessarily mean that it is an intimate relationship.  One could argue that if every relationship you had was intimate, none of your relationships would be intimate, leading to the supposed opinion that a select few in your realm of relationships can attain this level of relationship, and that you must choose who specifically to place into your "intimate" bubble.

Self-Disclosure is one of largest components of an interpersonal relationship, and something that can judge between whether your relationship is intimate at all, or to what degree is is intimate.  The book definition of self-disclosure is: honest, revealing messages about the self that are intentionally directed toward others.  It involves 'opening up' to the other person in a way where you might feel vulnerable at times.  The closeness of the relationship is determined by how much you can trust this person with information about yourself that not everyone may know.

Chapter 10's title is Improving Communication Climates.  This was one of the most interesting chapters in the book thus far in my opinion.  It deals with how we respond to criticism and confrontation that is about us, or someone else.  One of the things I've found about myself and my personality is that I tend to get defensive when confronted.  Obviously it is because I feel like the other person is looking at the situation in the wrong way, or I feel like I have a good excuse or a good reason for doing what I did or acting the way I did.  However, I've learned that if there is a situation when someone confronts me, the best way to go about handling it is by responding in a non-defensive way.  I need to intentionally tell myself to not defend what I did, but instead listen closely to what the other person is saying and why they are saying it. 

 If this important step is done, it is easy to resolve conflict or a miscommunication because it gives me the 'high-road' approach and even if I don't personally agree with what the person is saying about me, I can begin to fix the situation or at least compromise to make it better.